The Life of Bellatrix Lestrange (post-Azkaban)
by WillowWisper
Summary: Bellatrix Lestrange is fresh out of Azkaban, Wizard Prison. Slightly insane and wishing to express her views of her family, house elves, the Dark Lord, her fellow death eaters and lots of other things. xD Eek, bad summary. Lol. This is my first fanfic so hopefully it's not too bad. Thanks. :D P.s all characters belong to JK Rowling.
1. Chapter 1: Mental

Mental… Am I mental? Really? Me? Maybe… Maybe I am. Perhaps I'm off my head. Crazy, poof, insane, maybe that's me. Deranged or deluded or demented? D words. I hate D words. Demented... Dementors… No, don't think about them. Cold… No hope. No happiness. Can I really blame myself if I have gone crazy? Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Oh but I'm not! I'm not that bad, am I?

"No, you aren't that bad, Bella," says Cissy, walking in.

Oh. I must have said that out loud. Oops.

"It's good having you home again." She says in a pained voice, setting a tray down on the table in front of me "you aren't a problem at all. Eat."

Her eyes are far away and her expression is unreadable. My sister cries a lot these days. I don't think she likes me to see she's been crying. She tries to hide it from me, scurrying out of rooms whenever I say something that upsets her. Right now, however, she is looking at me expectantly so I glance at the meal. Ugh. I'm not remotely hungry but she seems to feel the need to feed me up with hearty soups and meaty pies. Not that she cooks them of course. Mrs Malfoy would never do such a lowly task. So that falls to the accursed house elves. I hate the creatures, myself. Not sure why witches and wizards would want the unintelligent scum in their houses but obviously it caught on.

"I'm not hungry." I croak.

"Please Bella. You're so skinny."

"I'm not hungry!" I manage to raise my voice.

I haven't used it in so long. No need. Other than muttering to myself. But you don't do much of that when you're so stuck in your own mind you can't even remember how to speak. I don't know how I managed. Actually yes I do.

The Dark Lord.

"Bellatrix!" hisses Cissy, snapping me back to reality "I'm not asking you, now I'm telling you. Please eat something. You expect he'll let you straight back into his service in this state?"

Trust Cissy to bring that into it. The only thing she knows will break me.

"Fine!" I snap.


	2. Chapter 2: Back in the swing

"Crucio!" I shriek.

A flash of red and the house elf is knocked off her feet and squeaking in pain. It feels good to be in control again. The feel of a wand in my hand and the sound of torture ringing in my ears, it's wonderful. I raise my wand again and she looks relived… Sort of. Her eyes are screwed up and she looks as if she's about to be sick. I laugh and fire again and again. I only stop because Narcissa has walked in on me again and she's looking appalled.

"Bella! You're supposed to be in bed! You need rest!" she yells, pulling out her wand "Not trying to murder my cook!"

"Bloody hell, Cissy! Stop treating me like some poorly child!" I screech.

In my anger I sound more like my old self, although a bit more hysterical. I send a curse flying at her almost without thinking. She deflects it with her wand quickly and then looks shocked.

"Narcissa, I'm sor-"

"No. It's fine." She says coldly, without looking at me "You're not well."

I stand there like children do when they've been caught stealing cookies, or whatever children like eating these days. Not quite meeting her eye and shuffling uncomfortably. Needing something to do I aim a kick at the house elf, who gives another squeak and backs away eyes wide and fearful. There is an awkward silence. Eventually Narcissa breaks it.

"Lucius says there is going to be a meeting on Tuesday," she admits "the Dark Lord wishes to see you in person beforehand; tomorrow."

I yelp. The strange sound that escapes my lips is one of joy and surprise. I don't know what to say so I just stand there with a grin spreading across my face. Narcissa has to smile as well. My happiness is infectious. For the first time in months I'm actually truly happy about something. It's a big leap for me. But of course it doesn't last. Later I can't sleep. I sit cross-legged on my bed worried. I'm supposed to be his most loyal servant, or so that's what they say but what if my Master is angry at me… I went to Azkaban. I wasted nine years of my time sat, rotting and dying mentally in my cell while I could have been out searching for him… I tried… I did try, but I was not good enough. What if he has replaced me? Another servant is said to have helped to be re-born… maybe this other servant has now taken over my rightful place? The thought fills me with angst.

And what am I going to say to him? I've missed him so much… but I can't tell him that. He's a powerful Lord and I'm just a slightly mental Azkaban ex-prisoner who's obsessed with the Dark Arts and who used to be his most loyal follower. Yeah. That's how we stand.

I'm trying to work things out when something else happens to make things just a little bit more hectic for me. A hooded figure apparates into the room. I grab my wand from the drawing table but before I can act the figure throws his hood down.

"Rodolphus!" I sound angry, confused, relieved and upset all at the same time "what are you doing here?"

"Making sure you're okay," he shrugs "Narcissa wouldn't let me see you because she said you weren't stable enough but you seem okay to me."

"Hmm," I mumble, grumpily "I was okay until you popped up."

"Haven't you missed me?" he sneers "After all, I am your husband and we haven't seen each other for three days since we had a near death experience escaping a dangerous place where we had been imprisoned for years without seeing each other for months and months not knowing if the other had died or worse."

"No. I haven't missed you. I can survive three days without you, you know,"

He looks slightly hurt so I say "I'm glad you're alright."

It's a lie. To be honest, I'd be less complicated if he wasn't alright. But I'm not going to say that. I'm in enough trouble already.


End file.
